Why Am I Even Here?

'sFor those that don’t know, I was, let's just say very overweight in my teen years. As some of you who’ve experienced this or can imagine, bullying and feeling a general lack of self-worth were rampant in my life. I can remember one occasion my freshman year when a kid walked up to me, grabbed onto my stomach and said, “Why don’t you kill yourself you fat f@&k?”  Needless to say, that had an impact. I can honestly say that thought never really took hold up until then. I remember walking through that day, that week and asking, “Why don’t I?” That comment made me take a very hard look at my life, friends, family, even my faith, and ask “Why am I here?” and “Why do I matter?” Thankfully I had key people in my life that showed me genuine love and care but, not everyone does.


"I remember walking through that day, that week and asking, “Why don’t I?”


I’m not sure where you are right now reading this. I’m not sure if you’re going through a season, a moment, where you’re lacking in the area of self-worth or self-value. Feeling like you’re in a dark hole with no air and asking if anyone cares and even knows. As someone who had to ask themselves those tough questions, I wanted to share some thoughts.


"I’m not sure if you’re going through a season where you’re lacking in the area of self-worth or self-value."


I remember through my moments, one of the key words I latched onto was purpose. You see, my Christian faith is very important to me, it’s been the bedrock of my life for many years and it’s helped me answer some of life's toughest questions like, “Why am I here?” Below I want to share some verses from the books of Genesis, Psalms, and John that helped me process through some of my emotions.


#1 - In His Image

In the book of Genesis chapter one, we read “So God created human beings in his own image.” Now hold on a second, don’t pass by the verse too quickly. The God who created all things also created you AND created you in his own image. I don’t know about you, but if I didn’t care for something or didn’t value something, I definitely wouldn’t create it in my own image. That’s pretty big.


#2 - God Worth

In Psalms 139 we read, “You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it. You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb. You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.” Wow, God made our complexities! You know all those weird quirks you have? Yes, God created those in you. Why? Because He created you, to be you and no one else can be you! When you’re struggling with feelings of self-worth, remember that the God of the universe created every part of you uniquely. Even if you’re lacking self-worth, remember you have God's worth.


"Even if you’re lacking self-worth, remember you have God worth."


#3 - He Loves You

Lastly, in the book of John we read “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” Now, this is important. Please don’t skim read this part. The God we’ve been talking about, the God who created you and made you unique, also loves you. Did you catch that? As you’re sitting in that dark pit, feeling alone… there is a God that deeply loves you. And loves you so much, he sent his only son to die for you. Question? Would you sacrifice someone you love for someone you hate? For someone you felt had no worth, no purpose, no value? Of course not! In fact, Jesus loved you so much He died for you knowing that you might not even love him back. That is deep deep love and he holds that love for you.


"As you’re sitting in that dark pit, feeling alone… there is a God that deeply loves you."


"Jesus loved you so much He died for you knowing that you might not even love him back."


Again, I’m not sure where you’re at right now, and if you’re struggling right now, please reach out to someone right away. But I want you to know, on my own journey of discovery, I’ve struggled, but these truths have sustained me and I believe that they can sustain you as well. You have a purpose, you have value, you were created and you are loved, deeply loved. These truths aren’t my words, but words of the God who created it all.


Core Value here at Wellspring Church is we value an “All Inclusive Gospel Message” which basically means no matter what anyone has told you, God values you, NO MATTER WHAT, He loves you, He died for you, and the only thing He asks is that you love Him back. If you’re reading this and want more information about what having a relationship with Jesus is like, or have questions about any of this, my email is graeme@wellspring.one. I’d love an opportunity to talk with you.


Written by Graeme Wilson,

Marketing and Communcations Lead at Wellspring Church


If you or someone you know is thinking about harming yourself/themselves or attempting suicide, reach out to someone who can help right away. Call the toll-free, 24-hour hotline of the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK to be connected to a trained counselor at a suicide crisis center nearest you.

Plan a Visit to Wellspring Church