Have you ever known someone for a long time but came to a realization that you don’t actually know much about them? Even when working side by side with someone, sitting in a support group with them, volunteering alongside them, coaching a flag football team with them, you really don’t know them. You chat about weather, the kids going to school, what restaurants are your fave, but that’s it. It never gets real. Doesn’t that get old?
"You chat about weather, the kids going to school, what restaurants are your fave, but that’s it. It never gets real."
I lead a Life Group at Wellspring Church on Wednesday mornings. I meet with a group of women, all different ages, different backgrounds, and at different stages of their faith. They are some of the most genuine and honest people I know. We only meet once a week, for about an hour, yet I know more about these women than I do others I’ve been living life with for years. Why? Because they’re real. We share about real doubts, fears, struggles, past experiences. We have an environment that promotes honesty. We don’t judge. We’re real. Why? Because we know that without being real with ourselves and those around us, there is no way that we can authentically grow relationships or our faith.
"Without being real with ourselves and those around us, there is no way that we can authentically grow relationships or our faith."
How can you have a healthy marriage if you aren’t honest with one another? Can you successfully make college decisions about where to go and what to study if you aren’t honest with yourself? If you’re a Christian, how do you grow in your relationship with God if you aren’t truthful with him? How do you build a relationship with your new college roommate if you keep the conversation shallow? Seriously, think about this for a second…. You can live with someone and never get to know them for who they really are. I’ve totally been there yet it still seems crazy to me.
My turn to be real: I am that person. I am the person who keeps it simple, doesn’t go deep quickly, and will keep people at a safe arms distance away. Why? I’m sure I have lots of baggage I can blame it on and maybe one day I’ll have a therapist list all the reasons, BUT, the reasons don’t really matter. As I look at my life and desire deeper relationships I’m reminded of what the apostle Paul says in the book of Romans, “Let love be genuine...love one another with brotherly affection...Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.” (Romans 12:9,10,15)
Living a life that shows genuine love, joy and empathy for others is one that displays beautiful attributes of Jesus.
I think about the Life Group I mentioned earlier and how I always leave that group feeling better and more energized than when I walked in. The conversation breathes life into each of us. We’re able to effectively grow in our faith because we’re real about where we are and where we want to be. We can speak into one another’s lives because we have relationships built on trust.
"We can speak into one another’s lives because we have relationships built on trust."
If we want to live a life void of loneliness perhaps one of the first things we should look at is our relationships. Are they genuine? Are they built on truth? Are we keeping a part of ourselves closed off from others? Are we rejoicing with those who rejoice? Are we weeping with those who weep? Are we loving people the way that we desire to be loved?
I can’t speak for all of the Life Groups at Wellspring Church but knowing what I do about the culture of our church I can confidently recommend them to you if you are looking for some truly genuine people to bring into your life. People who will laugh with you and cry with you. People who will show you the love of Jesus while you take steps to grow in your faith. How can we take steps towards being more real with those around us? What can you do today or this week to build into the relationships around you?
Written by Carly Voinski,
Weekend Experience Lead at Wellspring Church
